It isn't just about me anymore.

1:50:00 PM

Approaching my 17th week of pregnancy (approximately 4 months now), I've come to realized that being pregnant is training me to enter motherhood.

I've been thinking a lot about what's the best for my baby, and how to give the best, and it all comes from the period he/she is still in the womb.

Before this, I can choose to sometimes eat unhealthy food, because I know if anything bad happens, it's like I'm just slapping myself saying "See who told you to eat that??". But now, it isn't just about me anymore. Every single decision I make, I will need to consider the baby in me. I cannot take too much (preferably none at all) food with preservatives/chemicals (like Maggi mee for instance, which I like to eat during the weekends sometimes) and I cannot stick to my morning coffee routine, because they're not good for the baby. So I need to be strong and discipline, for my baby.

Not just food. Reading the Quran for instance. Like I've said before, it has never really been a habit for me, and that even when I tried to finish reading the whole of Quran during the Ramadhan month, I actually failed miserably, only affording to Juzu' 2 (Chapter 2). But lately, I realized that it is not about me anymore. If I want the best for my baby, then read the Quran! Let him/her listen to the surahs. It's good for the brain development and also a good spiritual supplement. So I forced myself, for the baby. Alhamdulillah, I spend at least 5 minutes a day to read 1-2 pages of the Quran, although I still skip and do this only 3-4 times a week, I'm trying my very best to do it everyday. InsyaAllah this will also be a good motivation for me to continue the habit even after the pregnancy.

I know now, that this kind of subconcious-it-isn't-just-about-me-anymore-feeling will go on once my baby is born and it will go on and on. I guess this is what they say the love and sacrifice of the mother, where they think about what's best for the baby, putting aside their own wishes. It like a practice, from when the baby is still in the womb.

Welcome to motherhood. This is only the beginning. Bismillah :)

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