I've never tasted defeat.

11:24:00 AM

I may be lucky, as some may say, in which, syukur. But I realized that along the way, because of this lucky charm, I may have never tasted defeat. I have never fallen smack to the ground and gathered all my strength to get up and be stronger.

Yes, I have tasted losing to a competition; I've lost in athletics for instance, appearing last but I ran away..I moved to something in which I can win. It's natural really, you move to something that you're good at, and for me it was swimming. The moment I joined the swimming team back in high school, I didn't even hope of winning. But when I swam my first inter-house championship, I became the champion, without even much hardwork. Then on, I just kept winning. When the state champ joined our team, I got second place..and I told myself, "Oh well.. she's just state champ..what can I expect.." BUT I DIDN'T FIGHT FOR IT. I DIDN'T STRIVE TO BE THE BEST. 

Another girl in out team, who always got the third placing, somehow took the challenge, trained REALLY hard and she surprisingly one day got the first place.. while I took over her place, being in the third. And still, at that point, I told myself.. "Oh well.. I've been a champ before.."

And this applies to almost everything else in life. I do my work in the office, without much hardwork, and then I succeed impressing all the bosses. I did my PTS book exercises when I was in Standard 3, and then I found out one day that I passed it and I skipped Standard 4. I studied last minute in uni, and then I passed, although at the passing line, but I passed. And then, I just feel okay about it. I don't have to work hard on my body, because my weight is always okay. I thought of organizing an event, and did it successfully with my friends. I just don't seem to have to work really hard to get 'okay' results. 

I never really failed. I may have been defeated, but never really tasted it. And when I tasted a little bit of failure, just a little bit, I cry. I cry so easily. Then I moved to something else (or should I say, run?)  in which I don't have to face the failure. I ignore them. I never really keep on failing on the same thing and then gathered my strength to try to win it. I've never been a winner in my own life failure. 

I played tennis once, and then I sucked really bad at my first attempt.. and then I just didn't want to play it anymore. I told everyone else "Tennis is such a boring game..its not my thing.." when the real reason to it is that I failed at it..and I couldn't even acknowledge that to myself! I gave up without even trying. There's just even more other life examples. 

They say that sometimes people don't say out their goals out loud because they're afraid of failing. They're so afraid that they don't say it out loud even to their own self! I have NEVER had a new years resolution EVER in my life. I've never really set a target to achieve something.. because you know why? I've had such committed parents who would always helped me to achieve something, or even direct me to success and I've also always been lucky...that things always turn out good. 

Why be complacent Miss? Why always accept things the way they are? Imagine if I were to work a little harder, I would have been excellent. Why be okay when you can be excellent? If I am that lucky, why not use it? WHY be complacent??

This is something that I learned about myself from Mr. He keeps on telling me.."I don't understand why you don't want to try harder? Yes, you're doing okay. But why be okay? Why not be the best?" My answer? "Why fix something when there's nothing wrong?". But its not fixing. Its improving! 

And so, these days, I've been trying to be the best. I set small targets at myself. I try to achieve them and when I fail at the smallest attempt, I cry. I complain. That's just how accustomed I've been to winning...how spoilt I've been to winning and to running away from failing.  And that needs to change. 

I'm not saying that we have to necessarily fall flat ground on the floor in life in order to succeed. We just have to keep on challenging ourselves to be the best, and face whatever failures that come along the way, small or big.

That is why all the successful people you see in the world these days have their life story to share. They all have one common thing: They've tasted defeat, and took the challenge. 

Mr has tasted failure in life. And he's going to have a story to share too one day, insyaAllah. 

We can stay there at that comfort zone, and still live a normal happy life. It really is up to you. Then again, question yourself, why just be okay when you can be better? Why be better when you can be the best? 

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