Love-Hate Relationship

9:54:00 AM

Me and Mr. have a love-hate relationship. One day I feel on top of the world, oh-so-happy and lovey-dovey and suddenly the next day, it goes straight down - until I can feel that I dislike him very very much.This can sometimes happen in just a day, drastically.

Is it okay? Is it healthy?

I've never been in this kind of relationship before. My relationships have always been stable and steady - no such major dramas. Takdalah sayang gila, ataupun benci gila. In this one, I can feel crazily in love one minute, and then super annoyed the next minute. I can cry, and then suddenly laugh.

This roller coaster ride can be quite exhausting.

Is this how marriage is supposed to be?

I've told Mr. about this, and he said he's totally fine with this kind of relationship. He said it makes it interesting. He said he likes it how we tell off how we feel and fight about it, rather than keeping it to ourselves, and tolerating and making the relationship stable all the time. So we tell things straight - and of course it hurts. Then, we get over it - sometimes lah, sometimes the same thing happens again.

I used to tolerate a lot in past relationships - giving in, keeping the dislikes and the anger to myself, so relationship is fairly stable. But don't we have to do that? Tolerate and sacrifice in relationships?

Please. Share me your feedback. Have you been in this kind of relationship? Are you in one now? How do you manage it? Will I somehow, just get used to this? Or will this kind of this happen only at the start of the relationship?

Now listening: Sometimes by Gabrielle

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2 comments

  1. I was in one a long time ago and it was exciting at first but the high lasted only for a while. I guess you will get used to it but sadly getting used to it might take the element of fun away. Although relationships between two people can't be compared to others cos the dynamic is totally different. Regardless, it's always good to find a point of balance. Select sensitive/hair raising topics to be excluded from conversations to avoid explosions. I read somewhere that a healthy, progressive relationship tend have arguments now and then, and might even be the cause for a relationship to be stable in the long run. But if it breaks you more than it makes you....mehhhhhh ;)

    Based on experiences around me as I lack them, making a relationship work is hard especially when you are both equally strong-minded, but it can be done. Never tolerate by keeping things bottled up, that only results in a higher richter scale. Tolerate by giving in, let the other person be the hero/heroine once in a while, but must keep conversation running because communication is vital.

    I believe in honest relationships too but I guess you can never know someone too well, even if the person is your husband/wife ;)

    sorry for being a bit 'dear abby' here, but hope that helps!

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  2. Erin!

    Yameen here. This post hit me straight to the heart! You are not alone Erin, me and Hadi are in the same rollercoaster ride you are in. Some days we will be so happy and in love, we can't wait to get married and commit our lives to each other, but some days are just the worst! We will fight about the littlest things, and because I am so keras kepala, and so is Hadi (haha), the fight will end up like an enormous storm!

    But surprisingly, despite all the storms and the sudden hatred towards each other during those fights, our disputes will always be resolved the next day. Not really because we will see eye to eye on the matter, but more on the fact that we accept all these differences in opinions. After both of us have slept on it, we will wake up the next day realizing that Hadi and I both have valid reasons behind our opinions, and we will accept that our brains don't really think the same way.

    I guess it just all goes down to that 'feeling'. The feeling that you know this other person understands you, this other person will always be there for you, no matter how different your ideas may be. I think Hadi and I survived until this long because we just can't live without each other. Okay, that sounded cheesy, but it is so. :0)

    I'm not saying that all relationships who go through this stage will survive as happily as me and Hadi have, but sometimes it's worth it to hold on until you can know whether that person is 'the one'. If he is the one, you will just know.

    Okay, sorry for the major cheeeesssyyyyyy comment. :0) Hope to see you around Erin!

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