My Confession on the Hijab Issue

10:38:00 AM

Yes. I have finally decided to not wear the hijab. I really felt that I wasn't ready for it. I realized that wearing the hijab isn't just about covering the head. It comes with a lot more. It's about dressing appropriately, it's about 'jaga perangai'. It's about representing and being a right muslimah.

Mungkin keimananku masih belum kuat. Aku masih lagi terpengaruh dengan duniawi.

I tried. I did. And I lasted for 5 months.

I always knew that I'd one day wear the hijab. Maybe when Mr. encouraged me, I felt excited, as it has always been what I wanted to do. And at that point, I really felt I was ready. I told myself "Just do it!" without thinking long ahead. In just one week, I started buying shawls and scarfs, and then I just wore them. Maybe I was too extreme. Maybe I should have prepared myself for it, mentally and physically. Maybe. I don't know, I really don't know.

When I think about it, those times people asked me, "Is this permanent?", I replied, "InsyaAllah, try dulu. Kalau tak ready, nanti bukak balik,". That statement itself has shows that I was giving it a try. I just didn't expect that it'll go as far as 5 months.

Initially, I thought of not-wearing them outside of the office as I was afraid of what others might say, then I felt like a hypocrite. Mr. also said, "Kita jangan malu and takut dengan manusia, malu and takut dengan Tuhan," As expected, there were many weird stares and gossips around.

I will have to agree with Mr's statement. Wearing the hijab is a very good thing. People around should be encouraging each other. You congratulate us when we give it a try, but when we fail, you penalize us for it. You talk behind our backs. What you should've done is, "It's okay, you tried. Try harder the next time," and then keep on encouraging us to wear the hijab. This kind of busy-body gossip people only make it harder for other girls out there to even attempt to try covering up. It's either you wear it or you don't. No trying. No.

Maybe many are used to wearing the hijab; either in school or from small, but for someone like me, who has never wear them other than during religious occasion, it really isn't an easy change. I needed a lot of support and change in lifestyle.

Aku akan cuba, untuk menguatkan lagi keimananku ini, dan bila sudah rasa cukup bersedia, insyaAllah, aku akan mula berhijab. Please, pray for me.

No. I'm not proud of this. But I am proud that I managed to wear them for 5 months and insyaAllah one day, permanently :)



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4 comments

  1. Hijab is an issue that is not set in stone. The Quran doesn't really explicitly tells women to wear the hijab or cover her hair. What is said to women is to cover their bossoms, very clear in surah An-Nur 31. More importantly, the Quran stresses that both men and women to dress modestly and lower their gaze.

    In my opinion whenever God leaves an issue open to interpretation, He does so out of mercy by giving us room to adjust depending on our individual circumstances or the prevailing socio-political environment. Remember, He is most merciful and forgiving.

    The problem here lies in peer bullying and the hollier-than-thou attitude without even referring to the Quran.

    The only thing left to be said is that if you feel more comfortable wearing a head cover of some sort then please do, by the same logic if a fellow Muslim feels she can fulfill her obligation of dressing modestly without the head gear then we should respect her interpretation as well.

    PS: Before anyone puts forward a stupid argument let me clarify that NO a mini skirt and a plunging neckline does not fit as modestly dressed by any civilised culture in this world. Not even in western countries.

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  2. Chill Erin.. Take your time... You don't really need to explain to anyone. It's between you and Allah SWT. Hugs and Kisses!

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  3. Haha. I know. I just felt that I had to let it out. I'm always explaining everything LOL but thanks nways :)

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  4. like you say. small step at a time ;)

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