The Differences in Relationships

9:42:00 AM

There is never a perfect relationship. There is never a two perfect person for each other. In any relationships, no matter how similar the partners are to each other, there will always be differences.

Each person is brought up differently by their parents; taught different values and go through different life experiences. All these, characterized an individual and make them who they are. Thus there are no such two individuals that will share the same principles,thinking or characteristics; not even any two siblings.

They say the first 3 months of a relationship, is called the honeymoon period. Some say its the first year of the relationship. During this phase, we seem to cherish all these differences. We stick to the saying that 'opposite attracts' and we laugh and joke at our differences. "At least, you're teaching me something new," we claim.

It is usually between that after that honeymoon period that we start realizing how these differences might interest us or quite the opposite, might start to irritate or annoy us. That is when tolerance come in place.

Couples survive relationships because they tolerate and sacrifice for each other. The minute you are selfish, and you start thinking of yourself, that is when you break up or divorce and go seperate ways.

You get to know a person, you start dating them, and then you start noticing the differences or the characters that irritate you. You tolerate some of them; the ones that you can bare with. And when you just cannot bare with any of his/her characteristics, because it is affecting your relationship and your emotions (i.e; him being too over-protective or her being a shopaholic for instance) you break up, date others and see if the next relationship might work out. The question here is, where is the limit? When do you decide that "I don't think this can work out anymore, not with this issue," When??


Because you see, when all these minor issues are manageable, you may decide to get married. Sometimes, you may decide to get married because you love your partner very much, and that you're willing to put the differences aside, no matter how big they are. When that happens, a whole new relationship starts all over again. New characters may appear. This time around, a much higher tolerance is needed.

In Islam, any married couple must put their 200% effort to make their marriage work as divorce is very much hated by Allah. So don't keep on living in denial and move on to marriage, when you know deep inside, that the relationship is too chaotic to work out well.

However bare in mind, that the decision to get married in the first place, is a gamble. There's no turning back. People change upon marriage. Thus, be choosy if you want to, then take your pick and enjoy the ride. Then on, don't forget du'a (doa) and prayers. With prayers insyaAllah, marriage becomes a hope. A hope of building a joyful family with your loved one, and go through whatever obstacles that may pass.

Some may choose to keep on looking until they've found the one that they know they can tolerate living the rest of their life with. Some may decide to get married to the one that they really love, and then learn to manage the differences later on in life. Whichever way, we cannot run away from having tolerances and sacrifices in relationships. If you choose to think of yourself, you might end up alone.

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1 comments

  1. Have you watched the video "Strangers, Again" on Youtube?

    This post sort of reminds me of it :-)

    Anyways, yes, like you said, insyaAllah, with prayers, tolerance and a lot of positivity, a relationship or a marriage will survive :-)

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